Ode to 7-dollar sweatpants

I knew when I saw you that I had to have you.

You were soft. You were tastefully understated. You were classy, without trying too hard.

When I approached you my heart was racing. Part of me thought we could never be together. The other part of me knew I would do whatever it took to make you mine.

As I grazed your price tag, I could feel the goosebumps forming. Would this be the kind of tale ending in tragedy, or triumph? My eyes were a well of the happiest tears when I saw it: “on sale”, for the low low price of seven dollars.

When I tried you on, the word “Hallelujah” formed on my lips. The perfect fit for the perfect price. What had I done to deserve you?

Now you are home with me, resting peacefully. I give you my word to love and cherish you for all of eternity. I’ll use a gentle detergent too I guess?