Taking pictures of dogs

So I’m sure everyone who has or has had a dog knows how important it is to share pictures of said dog with literally anyone who has ever crossed paths with you because guys did you know how cute my dog is? No? You didn’t know how cute my dog is? Here, take a quick lil’ look at how cute my dog is.

Here’s the thing about having dogs, or really any pets in general. We the dog owners are convinced we have the most well-rounded, good-looking, and promising little nutcases the world (nay, the universe) has ever seen. We want everyone to marvel at the level of intelligence and the depth of intuition our dogs possess. So we take lots and lots of pictures of our canine roommates. Because we’re proud of them. Because we’ve invested our love in them. Because we genuinely think they’re the most charming little muppets this side of town.

I mean, for the love of Vanilla Ice, the photo at the top of my blog is a picture I took of a dog I saw this one time. Yeah, sometimes I take pictures of other dogs too. They’re all a bunch of goofy goblins and I’ll be damned if anyone tells me I can’t be friends with every single one of them.

Generally, I’m as guilty of this practice as you are. My dog, a rescue pup, is a mutt who lives back home with the family. When I’m there you best believe I’m carving out time to sit my dog in front of a Beyonce-approved wind machine so I can Annie Liebovitz the day away. I regularly ask family members who still live with him to send me pictures when i can’t be there myself. Hey, by the way, did you guys know how cute my dog is? I’m available anytime to show you how cute my dog is.

All this to say you and I are spending a lot of time taking pictures of our dogs and we generally like pictures of our dogs. So what follows are my top 5 dog picture-themed business ideas. If you need me, I’ll be sitting on a goldmine. Disclaimer: These probably already exist in some way, shape or form. So in actuality I’ll be trying to sit on goldmines that don’t belong to me.

  1. Dog Photo-sharing App: Imagine Instagram but only for pictures of your gosh-darned dog, and your friends’ dogs. Think of all the filters. Think of all the “likes”. Think of all the time you’ll spend making sure Fido looks like he’s having a better time than he actually is on a daily basis.
  2. Professional Dog Portrait Artists: I don’t know about you but all I really want is for my dog to be immortalized in an oil painting. He might not like sitting still for long but whoever I hire to do this will just have to DEAL WITH THAT. I’M PAYING YOU SO MUCH MONEY.
  3. Dog Tinder: I know, you’d probably be the one swiping for your dog because dogs are dogs and they can’t really swipe much of anything. But who cares because nobody knows who your dog should mate with more than you do!
  4. Dog Selfie Stick: Again you might have to be the one to hold onto this because dogs are dogs and also you probably don’t need a separate selfie stick for dogs other than the one that already exists for people but what if this one had some sort of ok no just forget it. This one isn’t going to work (BUT THE OTHERS ARE BRILLIANT).
  5. Camera that attaches to the head of your dog: I mean this is self-explanatory. Attach a camera to your dog’s head that periodically takes pictures of him as he walks around doing dog stuff and just upload everything at the end of any given day. I don’t really know 100% how to pull this off but I have a good feeling about it.

Until these ideas are generating enough revenue, take this time to take a picture of your dog and try not to share it with your entire network. Just kidding, that’s not possible. SHARE IT. SHARE IT WITH ME. DO YOU NEED MY EMAIL ADDRESS?????

Bye 4 now.