Solid Ground


I’m a breakthrough-in-training.


I’m learning, slowly, what I live for, though this changes daily. I’m gaining confidence, losing it, regaining it, losing it. I’m laughing at my missteps, right before they hurt me all over again.


I’m going to be a fully-formed me, but in time.


I’m a small revolution caught in the net of a bigger one. I’m still growing, underneath a magnifying glass of my own making.


We’re meant for important truths, ones that live on solid ground. Until then, we float. Until then, we try. 




Now, I’m only 22 (for another month) but here are some lessons I’ve learned about “growing up”:

  1. At a certain point your metabolism sits you down and says “I think we should start seeing other people” and moves on to a younger model immediately. As an adult, you actually have to do things like eat right and work out to maintain your figure/overall health.
  2. Everything costs money. Credit card bills need to get paid. Watching your spending becomes a thing. I have said “first drink is on me” to many people, but I have checked, and it turns out I am not made of money. Better luck next promise.
  3. Driving was fun for about 5 minutes after I got my license. In the years that followed, it became a real pain in my rear. Parking? What makes you think I’m interested in doing that? Hello public transportation, you beautiful little treat.
  4. Finding a job is not as easy as realizing your next-door-neighbor has a kid that could REALLY USE YOUR BABYSITTING SKILLS. It takes work, determination, and optimism in the face of rejection.
  5. This one goes out to all the people who live alone: there is no one else around to kill that spider for you.
  6. You might not be able to continue wearing offensive clothing. Goodbye, tank top with massive middle finger on it. Actually, that may never have been appropriate. 
  7. You need to liberate space in your brain for learning, so that you can keep up in school or in your place of work. Knowing an entire Kanye West song off by heart is less and less impressive as the years roll on.
  8. Go out and party when there’s all this nothing to do in bed? I DON’T THINK SO. Generally, if the weather is in any way “not spring” or “not summer”, there’s no real reason for me to try and have any fun.
  9. Saying “like” in every sentence is akin to dragging your nails down a chalkboard. I can’t get away with this anymore, but dear god do I want to.
  10. Music is too loud. TV is too loud. Everything is too loud, including my own thought process. Peace and quiet for the absolute win.



My 2014 resolutions

  1. Incorporate many varieties of seafood into my diet, because often cooked seafood looks the same way it did when it was alive. I am very uncomfortable with this, and yet I feel as though there is some deep, metaphorical lesson to be learned here. With time, not only will I be able to eat all types of seafood, but I will learn this lesson.  It will have a deep impact on me.
  2. Walk the family dog whenever I’m in town. This will mean more bonding between us, and perhaps in the long run I will receive the same love from him that my father does. This love will be the kind of love that inspires me to do something great with my life. Probably.
  3. Wear even more black. I wear a lot of black already but the more black I wear the more people will respect me. I will need this respect for real life stuff.
  4. Do a better job of keeping my apartment clean. I heard something about Feng Shui 10 years ago and it sounded pretty cool.
  5. Go clubbing. This is how I am going to free my spirit through dance and inappropriate advances from strangers.  Not to mention I might finally learn to walk in heels.
  6. Call my friends instead of texting them. Hearing his/her voice is important, and video chatting is only for supermodels and/or pretending not to watch yourself when really all you’re doing is watching yourself.
  7. Do volunteer work. This will translate into “having things to do” and all that time I devote to being Beyonce in front of my mirror really isn’t doing anything for my resume, or mankind.
  8. Purchase a raincoat. It won’t look cute, but practicality is the mark of a real adult. Plus, I’ll stay dry, so, that’s a thing.
  9. Keep a journal, and write in it once a day. That way, I won’t be tempted to make everyone who follows me on social media aware of all of the boring things I do. I’ll have already told someone; me. Me is enough, sometimes (unless I take a great picture and apply such a spot-on filter that everyone MUST SEE IT).
  10. Learn the differences between types of wine. I’m getting to a point where bartenders just want to mother me because wine confuses me endlessly, even if it’s usually what I order.
  11. Check out museums for all that culture people keep telling me about. When inside a museum, actually read the little plaques that accompany the pictures, sculptures, images etc. They are not just there for you to nod at and immediately ignore.
  12. Stop downloading sad music. This is what we gravitate to when we are sad. This will make things so much worse and TOO INTROSPECTIVE. Only download happy music, or pay the price later.  Hello breakups, bad days at the office, and generally anything not good: meet the sad music that will DRIVE YOU INTO A DEPRESSION YOU DID NOT NEED TO EXPERIENCE.
  13.  Try weird flavours of gum. I don’t have a good reason for this, I’m just trying to be adventurous, but not so adventurous that I experience fear of any kind.
  14. Find a way to tell people you eat gluten-free that won’t make them roll their eyes. This will be a challenge, but it happens often enough that it needs to be dealt with. I won’t be making apologies for my sensitive stomach but I will be rocking your world with how pretend-casual I am about it.
  15. Suck it up, and admit to really enjoying unattractive pyjamas.